My Next Round of IVF!

I happen to be writing this much overdue blog post on the first day of National Infertility Awareness Week 2021. I feel blessed to be able to continue to tell my story to help change the conversation of infertility.

In the past, I have said that I don’t suffer from infertility, but I have come to understand and recognize that I actually do. Not only did I go through it with my ex, I also go through it now as a single woman. I have what is referred to as “social” infertility, because I lack a partner to have a child with. While some may think this isn’t as big of a deal as couples that struggle to get pregnant, it is a big deal to the thousands of single mothers by choice, like myself.

Over the last year I have waited to do my next round of IVF and have had setbacks and delays for various reasons. I am happy to say however that I am now getting ready to do another round in which I will be traveling to New York sometime in the next three to four weeks!

Let’s get caught up from where I left you first though. My last blog went over the first year of Embracing Choice Motherhood from when I started my separate Instagram account in January 2020 up to my consultation with CNY Fertility on February 3rd, hoping for IVF in March.

Well...obviously that didn’t happen, so let’s go over what HAS happened since then.

I had my consultation with CNY and everything went fine, they sent me all the paperwork and said I could start whenever I was ready, to order my meds and call on the first day of my cycle. In my head I was ready go in March but I also knew I wanted to re-do some labs just to make sure my body was ready. On February 8th I had my blood drawn and on the 11th I got the disappointing results I was not expecting.

My Vitamin D was normal at 34ng/mL but on the lower end of normal, when optimal for fertility is 50-80ng/mL, my AMH went down to the lowest it’s ever been (AMH is linked to Vitamin D level so that made sense), and my FSH was still high at 11.9 (ideal is <10). Right away I decided to delay until I could improve these numbers. I upped my Vitamin D supplementation, and began taking wheatgrass for the FSH, with a plan to re-test in a month.

The next weekend, I went down to spend the weekend at my parent’s house, and to get my Sonohysterogram (SHG), which is an imaging study of the uterus. Even though I had already decided to postpone the IVF, I decided to keep the appointment anyway because I already had it scheduled and I had to have it done eventually. I also wanted to check out the women’s center where I was having it done, in hopes of them providing my IVF monitoring when the time came. The procedure went well, slightly painful but that was to be expected, and the doctor even said I would handle childbirth just fine, which I took as a compliment of course.

That same weekend, as I was chilling on the couch, hanging out with my parents, I happened to look online for job postings. I had stopped my search for a new job at least a month or two prior out of despair because there were simply no worthwhile jobs to even apply for. I gave up finding something new and had even started planning on staying where I was and moving closer to work, even though I was still far from family, I didn’t want to delay trying to get pregnant any longer. And I just want to say, that it wasn’t about the job. I love my facility, and if I could take it and move it 4 hours south I would.

Anyway, I spotted a job that seriously sounded too good to be true and debated on even applying because I didn’t believe it was real, something had to be up. But I applied anyway and crossed my fingers it was in fact real. One drawback was that it was only three days a week, but if I got it, at least I would be able to move back home.

The next day I got a text from a dietitian that I had covered some accounts for a couple of years ago, right before I moved to Mammoth. She wanted to know if I had moved back to the area. Long story short, it turns out that it was her ad and job that I had applied for and she basically said if I wanted it the job was mine. Just like that, in a matter of two days I had a new job and a new plan.

At this point, I hadn’t seen my guy for a couple weeks since he last came to visit me in Mammoth, and I hadn’t heard from him much either. I just figured he was busy and didn’t think much of it given our casual non-relationship situation, but I was excited to tell him my news that I would be moving closer.

On Monday, February 15th I gave my facility my months notice, and on the 17th (my birthday) I put it in my stories that I had decided to take a new job and would be moving back home. I got many messages of congratulations and happy birthdays, including an excited one from my guy, and he later texted me Happy Birthday, but also apologized for being distant, blaming drama with the ex as usual. All in all though, it was a great birthday.

It was a short work week because my girls were coming up to celebrate my birthday Thursday night so I then moved my focus there, getting to spend time with my girls always makes me happy. We had a great first night, playing drinking games, crying and saying how much we loved each other, you know girly stuff.

The next morning...I can’t even put into words the ridiculous, disrespectful turn of events that happened. Let’s just say I was suddenly and unexpectedly “let go” of the casual non-relationship. Is it a break up if you were never even a couple?? I don’t think it is. But the worst thing was how it was done. Not a phone call, not a text. The way I found out I no longer had a friend with benefits was with an Instagram post of him and his new girlfriend. It was perfectly clear this was not a new thing, even though he had just been calling me baby two days prior. Needless to say I was pretty crushed, but thankfully I had my girls to get me through the weekend. They were and always will be my saving grace. Shout out to my Moo Cows!

I don’t want to dwell on this particular guy because the truth is that while it did suck to be treated that way, I didn’t love him. I even found myself thinking that if it did develop into something more, that I would be settling. A physical connection does not always equal a love connection. And that’s all he was to me, the physical connection. Not to mention, that a grown ass man that doesn’t have the balls to end it with a fuck buddy, with a simple phone call or even text, well I don’t need anyone like that in my life. Good riddens. I told him to suck a dick and haven’t heard from him since.

Onto bigger and better, and time to focus on becoming a mama anyways.

Thankfully, I retook my labs again in the beginning of March and my plan worked. My Vitamin D was now at 52ng/mL (in the optimal range), my AMH was up to 3.10 (the highest it’s ever been), and my FSH was 10.2 (closer to the optimal range and the lowest it’s ever been). Time to start preparing for IVF, but I also had to plan my move back home.

I started packing up my stuff and had to size down even more than I already had due to my temporary living situation. My last day at work was the 13th of March and I started my new job on Monday, March 15th. My house that has been waiting for me for the last two years, won’t be available until May 1st, so until then I’m living on my parent’s ranch in my grandparent’s RV.

It’s so nice to be back home but it will be even nicer when I am in my own home and settled. With my cycles starting right around the first week of the month, I had to decide just when I wanted to do my IVF. April was just too hectic with starting the new job, staying on with my old job doing remote work two days a week, and still seeing clients for my private practice. I needed things to settle at least a little bit.

So, in two-ish weeks I will be moving into my house and also starting my meds for the next round of IVF. It will be somewhat stressful to both things at the same time, but I think it’s a good stress and I just don’t want to delay any longer. I am more than ready to get this motherhood show on the road!